Monday, December 24, 2018

2018 reflection.

Wow, it's that time of the year again. 2018 was by far one of the hardest years for me, but also the most rewarding. Coming back to the states was the right decision, but it didn't change the fact that it was hard to readjust to life here. That was seriously the hardest thing for me. But with the help of my family and my friends, I was able to keep myself focused and ended up getting on track,

It was nice to spend time with my family, I missed them a lot in Japan and it made me realize I probably won't want to move far away from them again. I also did a pretty cool part time job, and found an awesome temp job that I overall enjoy.

I made the decision to go back to school, and though I know it's going to be difficult I am excited for what is to come.

So, what are some things I learned this year?

Trust yourself. Sometimes you tend to freak out, overanalyzing everything, worried if you're going to fuck things up or make them worse. Just know, that sometimes you just gotta take that leap of faith, and trust that you are making the best decision for you at that moment. And that should be enough. 
Learn to love yourself. I feel like this has been on here before, maybe not. Or maybe this was something I've known for a while. Don't think so little of yourself, know that you are worth more. You're not broken or fucked up, and you deserve to be happy. I feel like this will be an ongoing lesson though. 
Put yourself first. Sometimes you tend to be a pushover because you want to make other people happy or you don't want to hurt their feelings. Try to stop that, you tend to do it too much and hurt yourself in the process. Learn to speak your mind, if someone is making you feel uncomfortable, tell them. If you don't want to do something, say it. Don't wait until it builds up, do it before then. You're not going to please everyone, you shouldn't have to.

This year was hard, but also so rewarding. I honestly have so many good memories. Unfortunately, I didn't write them all down here. But hopefully next year I can start writing on here again. I honestly  enjoyed 2018, it was really hard for me mentally, probably the hardest but I feel like I've become stronger because of it. And I am looking forward to what 2019 has in store. Fingers crossed they're good things.

Saturday, December 8, 2018

lucky twenty-seven.

Hey it's been a while. So let's do a quick recap of what's been going on! These photos are from one of my birthday outings for my 27th birthday. I was turning 27 on the 27th, so my family/friends wanted to do something nice. I went to Oak Glen, where it actually has a proper fall and enjoyed the changing of colors.

So what's been new, besides me turning 27? I decided to go to school for web development, and will be beginning in January. I am so happy with my decision. Doing the pre-work is already getting me excited for the program. 

What else? I am working a temp job as an accounting assistant. It was random, but I enjoy the company I work at, I am learning a lot, I enjoy my coworkers, and plus it's nice to have a job! I forgot how different it is to work in U.S. compared to Japan. I have pastel purple/pink hair and my bosses don't care. Tattoos? Not a problem! I can show them, and several other coworkers have tattoos as well in the office. I also forgot about "Casual Fridays" where we can wear jeans to work, but this company is even more chill where I can wear hoodies as well! Hell, you don't even have to wait until Friday to wear jeans. It's such a nice difference. 

That was part of the reason why I didn't want to stay in Japan, it was tiring to always hide myself and not look how I wanted, even if it was just a hair color or having tattoos not be a taboo.

I still have some ups and downs, but overall I am having more ups. I am doing well with the goals I set and I am looking forward to next year. Until then, I am going to make the most of this remaining year.

Oh, I also went to a lot of shows. I really need to catch you guys up! Hopefully soon. But this is the gist of it. Hope you all are doing well!