Monday, February 1, 2016

Hello February.

Hello loves!
It's the lovely month of February and there's so many things to look forward to.

Lately, things have been up and down constantly with my parents. At the moment they are okay, and I hope it stays that way. Ever since the shoot with Alysha, I've had several photographers wanting to shoot with me, but unfortunately because of my strict parents this makes it nearly impossible to shoot.

I was just talking about this with Lyy, I really enjoy my life in California and I've been having so many modeling opportunities coming my way that if I wanted to pursue it, ideally staying in California would be best. However, because of my parents, I can't because they go against everything I really want such as my tattoos, stretched ears, my modeling, going out with friends (unless they met them), that I could never do what I really want here.

Why not move out? That would be nice. But there's several reasons why that wouldn't work which I don't care to write them out at the moment but the main one being that it's not enough space. Even with me moving out, if I still live in Southern California it will be hard for them to let go.

Moving to the other side of the world? It forces them to let go. Just gotta rip it off like a bandaid.

I need some space, okay a bit more than some, more like a lot. I'm hoping to spend some time in Japan, pay some of my loans, get my tattoos, and travel. I want to have my space, have my freedom again, and just grow as a person on my own. I just want to live my own life, regardless of my parent's good intentions.

If I could do some modeling on the side, cool. If not, it's not a big deal. I never thought about doing modeling seriously until more recently when photographers were telling me I should. I always saw it as a hobby, something for fun, something to make me feel empowered and confident. We'll see, I'm sure my modeling will probably stop when I go to Japan tbh.

In any case, I'm looking forward towards the future. And, as of now, things are alright. I'm spending time with my family and trying to make the most of it and not fuck things up before I leave.

In the meantime, I have some things to looking forward to, some outings with friends, concerts, and an art exhibit I've been wanting to see for a while. Hopefully everyone has a lovely month!

1 month and 28 days.

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