Monday, January 25, 2016

you're in the middle of the ride.

You know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own so don't buy in
Live right now
Just be yourself
It doesn't matter if that's good enough for someone else

It just takes some time
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right

Just a note to self.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

good company makes for good memories.

January 2nd, 2016
Jesse's Graduation Party

Jesse stole my phone and started taking photos of him with random people at his party.
There were may more which I put on Facebook. 
These two were my favorites.

2 months and 8 days.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

I'll take it nice and slow, feeling good on my own without you.

Photographer: Alysha Nett

Yesterday I went to San Diego to do a shoot with Alysha Nett. Those that have been following me know she is such an inspiration to me and she is actually the person who inspired me to get into modeling again and be more proactive about it.

It was a fun shoot, and I already love the polaroids she took, my favorite being the bathtub one with the water.

I am super excited for the rest of the photos and am so happy and grateful I got to work with someone so talented, not only as a model but a photographer. This shoot was something I needed. This was an amazing experience that I will never forget.

There's a quote saying we don't remember days, but moments. I'm making my last moments in California memorable. As much as I love Japan, I know it's times like these that will make me miss my life in California.

I'm grateful for the things in my life and the people in it. And I'm looking forward to the opportunities coming my way.
2 months and 10 days till Japan.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

I know you too well to like you.

Photographer: Grunge Gypsee
Wardrobe: Vita Girl Vintage

I've been under the weather recently. I feel alright, it's just that my throat is killing me and I lost my voice. It's gotten better, but I hope it's completely better by Monday because I have an important shoot.

Despite being sick, and probably against my better judgement, I went to a concert on Thursday night. Again, it was a band I didn't know but my friend liked and wanted me to check them out. It was a ska band called Reel Big Fish, and I loved them as soon as I heard them. Not only do they play well live but their music is just so fun you can't help but dance and sing along.

Also, their music is awesome after a break up or something of that sort. It's like, up-beat 'fuck you' music. I enjoyed the concert a lot.

Yesterday, again despite my better judgement I started the volunteering at the elementary school. It was fun, and the kids were cute. Unfortunately, I fucked up my voice more because I was reading to the children.

I'm going out tomorrow because I'm going to be going to San Diego for the shoot on Monday. I hope I will be well by then because this shoot is extremely important to me. This is what happens when you try to do too many things at once, and bad timing. Hoping for the best!

In case you were wondering, 2 months and 13 days till Japan.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.

Gifs from unknown source

I got around to it, I finally watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. The whole concept was very unique, and there were so many lines from the movie that I could relate to. This gif set being one of my favorite quotes.

It was just such a real film. The emotions that were portrayed, the things people go through in a relationship. I doubt I would ever want to erase someone from my memory. It's just so fucked up, and it's losing a part of yourself.

I can say so much about this film but I won't haha. I'll just leave it at, it's a great film that you should definitely watch. I'll also add that Clementine speaks to me haha.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Can I keep you?

December 27th, 2015
Photographer: Grunge Gypsee

I did a short shoot with my friend Joelle, aka Grunge Gypsee for her vintage store Vita Girl Vintage. I always love shooting with Joelle because she was my first photographer, ever. It was also a really fun shoot because I love dressing up and my favorite look was this Wednesday Addams dress. It was super cute and so much fun to shoot in.

I don't know why, but this dress also gives me Casper vibes. Probably because I recently watched the movie again, and probably because Christina Ricci was in it and she also plays Wednesday Addams. Casper is definitely one of my favorite childhood movies.

In other news, life is going pretty well. I don't know how it went from rocky to nice but I'm not complaining. Maybe it's the whole new year thing? Or maybe because I'm being productive? Or both.

Well my loves, there are so many things I am looking forward to within these last few months of my time here in California. I'm nervous, but excited. I hope that life continues to surprise me in lovely ways and for you guys as well. 

2 months and 17 days till Japan.

Monday, January 4, 2016

You will leave a mark.

December 17th, 2015
Photographer: mmmtangerine 

I am so ashamed of what I have become
That oh, my heart is bursting again
Don't leave this mark 

― A Silent Film

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Jesse's Graduation Party & New Years Resolutions.

Last night was my little sister's boyfriend's graduation party. It was my first outing of 2016 and it was fun. I got to meet more of his friends and family and became good friends with one person in particular, we decided we are going to be travel buddies lol.

It was nice spending time with my sister as well, since when we usually hang out it's one on one or with her boyfriend. But that was the first time in a while since I've hung out with her in a group. Needless to say, I have lots of things to look forward to and think 2016 will be a good year.

I looked at my resolutions for last year and am happy to say I did most of what I wanted to do, except study Japanese and workout more. Build up my style more? Check, and it's still an ongoing process. Messed around with makeup more? Check, but still an ongoing process as well. Do more photo shoots? Check. Save up for Japan? Check.

Work out more. I know, this is everyone's and it's the same thing every year. But I hope within the 3 months that I have access to a good gym that I will take advantage of it. I already started in December and stopped during the holidays and am doing it again. I'm hoping having my mom as a gym buddy will motivate me and so far it is. I'm content with my body but if I can become happier I would want to. I doubt I'd be able to workout in Japan like I've been doing here so for now, this is just for the last 3 months here in California. 
Get my tattoos. Finally, with my starting my career and being able to support myself I will be able to get my tattoos. I've been wanting them for the longest time and held off on them because of my parents but now, with my starting my own life and using my own money there is no need to hold back. I'm looking forward to this the most. 
Travel. Again, hopefully with my starting my career and being able to support myself I will be able to also travel to many places that I've been wanting to go and take some things off my bucket-list
Pick up an outdoor hobby. I've been wanting to do something new. I have several in door hobbies, but want to be more active and do something outdoor.
Improve my Japanese. Hopefully with me living in the countryside it will help with me learning Japanese and if I take the time to also study here and there I can get closer to where I want to be language wise. 
Continue to build up my style. I've become very content with my style and I know it's a work in progress so I hope it continues to keep growing.

I always seem to do six new years resolutions unintentionally. But, I'm excited for this new year. I already have several things I'm looking forward to. My life is going to be busy until I move to Japan in March and I'm going to make most of the time I have left in California.

I don't know how my life is going to be in Japan, being a student and working are two completely different things. I'm just going to play it year by year and see where I end up. Hoping for the best!