Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Something I needed.

I met up with M last night for the first time in a while. He has been quite busy, but he managed to make some time for me to hang out since he knew I am leaving soon.

We met up at Higashishinjuku which was pretty random as fuck, but he had his reasons lol. We couldn't hang out as long as we usually did since he had to shoot a music video the next morning at 7am. I'd die.

I was a bit bummed, but I also knew I couldn't stay out all night as usual because I have to type papers and I can't skip anymore classes. And me staying out all night = skip everything next day.

We ended up chilling, and catching up. Told me about the mini album they are working on, talked about cats LOL, lots of random stuff to be honest.

I swear, M reminds me of a little kid. He always likes to lay his head on my chest or legs and constantly look at me.

I always feel awkward when people stare at me to be honest so I always look away. I suck with eye contact haha, but he always stares and when I say "何?” he just replies with the typical Japanese "ううん" and continues to stare.

I don't mind, I find it cute to be honest but I always wonder what he is thinking.

He is really affectionate, and it's been a while since I've had any affection from a guy. He touches my face and holds my hand, and tells me how cute I am, how he likes my face, the length and color of my hair, and how he finds my body perfect. My ex didn't even do that crap lol in fact, he did the opposite and made me feel like shit about myself so it's nice to experience this kind of thing. It reminded me of how nice it is to feel like someone cares about you.

Though I did like M a lot at some point, I realized how much I don't want to date a band guy. Part of it was because of how busy he is and the other part was because of a discussion me and Jen had.

I don't consider me and M to have been dating though. It was complicated.

I ended up losing interest in M for a couple reasons, which I don't hold him accountable for either of the two. Regardless, I still really care about him and really like spending time with him.

I'm glad he came into my life, it had been years since I felt anything for any guy romantically which was not even what I thought would happen when we first started talking. Haha, it's so funny how things turn out.

M was something I needed to remind myself of many things, many good things.

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