Thursday, August 29, 2013

ILP Program Rant

I am counting the days for when this intensive language program is over. I am not doing good, and feel like I am not really learning anything because it's going so fast. I feel like, I am just being introduced to all these new grammar concepts and not actually learning them.

I mean, I already suck at school at a normal pace so you can only imagine how much I suck at an intensive level lol.

Everyone else in my class I found out for sure has taken 2 years of Japanese so all of this is review for them. And, most of them are Chinese as I mentioned before so they are pro at all the kanji -.-

I feel like people in the my class get annoyed with me since it is taking me a longer time to understand the new concepts. Luckily, one of my classmates Matt tries to help me and tells me it's normal for me to be slower since it's review for everyone else and it's new info for me. He said he would probably be the same.

Honestly though, this program is making me despise Japanese. I rather just learn Japanese from my Japanese friends, and to be honest, I actually learn more when I hang out with Naoya -.- he constantly teaches me new words and talks to me in simple Japanese so I can get used to it.

Meanwhile, the program is stressing me out and a lot of the people in the program seem to be people I can't seem to click with. Not everyone is bad though, I've met some really nice people through the program and even have gone out to eat and hang out with them :] but for the most part, most of them make me feel uncomfortable so I just want it to be over with.

I was happy I got to talk to my little sister on the phone today. She left me audio messages on LINE crying, apparently a shit load of problems have been occurring since I left. She told me she wished I was back home and this broke my heart to hear. Especially since I haven't been in the most 元気 mood because of the ILP program.

We talked for a few hours probably 3 or so. She caught me up on everything and I did as well, it was nice. I hadn't talked to her on the phone since I came to Japan.

My sister already knew I was having problems with the ILP program, everyone in my family does actually. I explain to them how I enjoy Japan and I'm enjoying my time here but I am constantly stressed trying to do good in the program and failing miserably lol, and it doesn't help that I don't really enjoy many of the people's company /sigh

Luckily, I have one more week and it will be over with. But it's going to be a stressful week since we have a makeup test, chapter test, final, and presentation left. Not to mention the buttload of homework we have to redo until we get a perfect score T__T ah, just typing this shit out is stressing me out.

I'm going to try my best though, I sound so defeated lol. As soon as the program is done, I will be taking Japanese culture related classes and will be working. Working will also help me with my Japanese, Hopy told me that's where she learned the most. And also, I need the cash, buying the wifi pocket totally took a chunk of my money away :[

I haven't been hanging out with many of my friends since I have been busy with the program and since I am trying to save money. I have hung out with Smiley and Naoya last week but we just went to Ueno, I'll probably post about it later.

Oh well, off to study~ 頑張ります (T_____T)

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