Tuesday, August 7, 2018

august.

Wow, I'm a professional at abandoning this blog. In my defense, I have been going through a rough patch. These have been overall good, for the most part. It's just, some things such as career wise I'm still confused as fuck with what I'm doing. Which, it's a big deal. So with me being so unsure about my future career plans, my concerns seems to bleed into the other areas of my life making me a ball of anxiety.

Luckily, I have supported friends and family trying to help me through it. But really, all I want to do is curl up in my bed, sleep the day away, while depressing music is playing in the background. Which, let's face it, it would probably make the situation worse.

Well, at least I'm going to see TBS and TSSF next weekend. Hope everyone is doing great, and hopefully better than I am haha. Oh, and happy August.

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

swing, swing.









Wednesday, May 9th, 2018

I swear it felt like I was just posting about how it just became June...it is honestly freaking me out how quickly time is going by. I thought this just happened when you're working but even now time goes by quickly. I think the only difference is that the days start to blur.

I've recently started looking for a job, probably should've done it sooner tbh but I didn't want to. I wanted to enjoy my time with my sisters and see what it is like to live in SoCal without my parents. It makes a big difference.

So here I am, applying to jobs...everywhere. Literally, no state is off limits. Hmm...well, maybe some. But for the most part, they are open. I just want a job to get my foot into the door of what I really want to do.

I always forget how stressful job hunting is. Fixing up your resume and cover letter, waiting for a callback, getting a callback and setting up an interview, the interview, interview #2, and waiting to see if you got the job. And then, even if you get the job, it's stressful af because everything is new and you have to settle in. It's all exhausting. But hey, it could be my anxiety talking.

My sisters don't want me to leave to another state or even to Northern CA and it's giving me more stress. I don't want to leave either, but I need to be responsible and do what's best for me if I do get offered a job in any of those locations.

My older sister tells me I should 'follow my heart' and do what I really want to do. My little sister says I should 'wait for a job I really want' and they are making me doubt myself. I was so sure of my decision but they are making me feel bad. I know it's not intentional and they just want me to stay, but I barely discovered what I want to do and what I need to get there...I have to work for it, everyone does. And these jobs will help me with that.

My little sister is more understanding but my older sister isn't. Hopefully as time goes on, they will get better with it. And hopefully it won't affect me so much.

Photos by: tangerineyum

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

hidden mickey's and good company.




Went on a spur of the moment trip to Disneyland with my sister and her bf. I love hanging out with them from time to time because when I'm with them I don't feel like the third wheel. Could also be because he feels like he's already my brother-in-law. He's always trying to get me to socialize more, even if it's just with them.

This was the first time I went to Disneyland since I've been back. They have a special for pass holders to buy discounted tickets. I took advantage, I've been wanting to go on the new Guardians of the Galaxy ride. I was bummed to initially find out they were changing it from Tower of Terror, but now, I'm happy they did. It's much more fun.

We just chilled, ate, went on some rides, and enjoyed each other's company. It was a good day.

This weekend will consists of hopefully getting my hair more pink, another photo shoot, and Deadpool 2 with my dad.