Saturday, January 12, 2019

It's not like in the movies. It's better, because it's real.

To All the Boys I've Loved Before (2018) 

Overall this movie wasn't anything special, but I still liked it. 
It was cute for what it was and I really liked Peter's character. 
And this scene really hit me hard.

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

twenty nineteen.

Hello everyone, how was your New Years? I took a bath with a bath bomb for the first time and then put on a face mask while I marathoned Sons of Anarchy. Nothing like ringing in the new year while taking care of yourself and watching betrayal and death unfold. It was pretty ideal.

I keep forgetting to talk about my resolutions/goals from last year and to see what I accomplished. I wanted to get a new look, which I did by cutting my hair and dying it light pink. It's currently a purple pink and growing, which I'm stoked for. I wanted to make effort to meet up with friends, which I did. I met up with some friends in Colorado and NorCal. Still need to go to Georgia to see Jenn! Go to more shows? Yes! I did that, 2018 was the year of shows for me. It was great. Saw so many bands I've been wanting to see. Take care of my skin more? Also a yes. Been using face masks in 2018 the most I've ever had. Spend more time with my family? Also did. I've been with my sisters whenever I can because who knows when we are going to all get a place of our own. Even spend some time with my mother and father, on separate occasions of course. Workout? I definitely worked out more in 2018 than 2017 that's for sure. I joined a gym and everything so I say that's a win.

Alright, so was are my goals for 2019?

Do well in school. I mentioned I am going back to school for web development, so I am hoping that I can do well while working full time. It won't be easy, but hopefully I can push myself to do it. 
Start a career in web development. I am going back to school to change my career path, so hopefully it will help me so I can get the skills needed to make the career change. 
Have a better idea of where I want to be. I have several ideas of where I could be in the future but as of now they are all up in the air. I want to get a better idea of where I will be in the future, and hopefully that will happen after I finish the web development program.  
Work on my mental health/self. I have recently been seeing a therapist, I saw one before I went to Japan and decided I wanted to come back and see one again. I have lots of things I need to work on, and I hope by going to therapy I can take the first steps in doing that. 
Pay off most, if not all of my student loans. I am almost done paying off my students loans from my previous university, so if I could just finish it, I would be so happy. 
Finish my sleeve and possibly start my back. I have been working on my sleeve for a while so it would be great if i finished it. I also have been wanting my back done for the longest so I'd love to start it. I want some more leg tattoos so the back might not be realistic, especially with school. But I'll just throw it out there. 
Workout more in 2019 than in 2018. I worked out more in my previous year compared to the last, so I want to do that this year as well. I feel like it's a good judge of if I am actually being productive and working out more rather than just working out the same amount. I just need to be more consistent and not let my laziness get the best of me.

I feel like these resolutions are so adult like compared to my previous ones. I guess this is growing up huh? I still feel like I'm in my early 20's though, I don't feel like I'm getting older. I do have an end goal though, and I am working hard to achieve it. I am so happy to still have this blog and write it in, even if it isn't often. I can see how much I've grown because of it.

I hope people that have blog continue to write in them.

Monday, December 24, 2018

2018 reflection.

Wow, it's that time of the year again. 2018 was by far one of the hardest years for me, but also the most rewarding. Coming back to the states was the right decision, but it didn't change the fact that it was hard to readjust to life here. That was seriously the hardest thing for me. But with the help of my family and my friends, I was able to keep myself focused and ended up getting on track,

It was nice to spend time with my family, I missed them a lot in Japan and it made me realize I probably won't want to move far away from them again. I also did a pretty cool part time job, and found an awesome temp job that I overall enjoy.

I made the decision to go back to school, and though I know it's going to be difficult I am excited for what is to come.

So, what are some things I learned this year?

Trust yourself. Sometimes you tend to freak out, overanalyzing everything, worried if you're going to fuck things up or make them worse. Just know, that sometimes you just gotta take that leap of faith, and trust that you are making the best decision for you at that moment. And that should be enough. 
Learn to love yourself. I feel like this has been on here before, maybe not. Or maybe this was something I've known for a while. Don't think so little of yourself, know that you are worth more. You're not broken or fucked up, and you deserve to be happy. I feel like this will be an ongoing lesson though. 
Put yourself first. Sometimes you tend to be a pushover because you want to make other people happy or you don't want to hurt their feelings. Try to stop that, you tend to do it too much and hurt yourself in the process. Learn to speak your mind, if someone is making you feel uncomfortable, tell them. If you don't want to do something, say it. Don't wait until it builds up, do it before then. You're not going to please everyone, you shouldn't have to.

This year was hard, but also so rewarding. I honestly have so many good memories. Unfortunately, I didn't write them all down here. But hopefully next year I can start writing on here again. I honestly  enjoyed 2018, it was really hard for me mentally, probably the hardest but I feel like I've become stronger because of it. And I am looking forward to what 2019 has in store. Fingers crossed they're good things.